For me, choosing my bridesmaids was easy breezy. There was no fretting or worrying that someones feelings would be hurt if I asked someone else to be Maid of Honor, or any complications like that. I have one sister. She is therefor my very favorite sister, my big sister, and without a doubt my only choice for Maid of Honor. I was her Maid of Honor a year and half ago, and she will be mine. Lovely, simple, and just so right!
Now, I have been a bridesmaid in two weddings; my brother's and my sister's. In my brother's wedding, my lovely sister-in-law had six bridesmaids standing by her side through it all. In my sister's wedding, she had five lovely ladies. Five and six felt like good numbers to me, a strong showing of friendship and love, but not overwhelming or gratuitous. However, I have known for a while now (ie: before I even got engaged) that I would only have four bridesmaids, because there are exactly four very important bridesmaid-aged women in my life.
They are my big sister, my sister-in-law, my closest cousin, and my very best friend. These four ladies make up the top tier of important/favorite women in my life (this is not including such wonderful and amazing women such as my Mom, Aunts, or Grandmas), and this idea of "tiers", as silly as it might sound, actually became kind of important when it came to choosing the bridal party.
You see, beyond this top-tier (okay now I'm beginning to feel silly and elitist for saying that so many times) of women in my life are some very wonderful, fun, and supportive friends and cousins that I would love to have stand up for me at my wedding. However, the problem is that if I ask say one or two of these women to do me that honor, I would feel like I should be asking several other women in that "tier" of friends to be my bridesmaid as well. In other words: it opens up the door to worry and possible hurt feelings, and I just want none of that anywhere near my big day, or even the hundreds of days leading up to my big day (well, our big day).
I once read in a bridal magazine advice column that a bridal party should be chosen to include people who you expect to be a part of your lives and your marriage long after the rice is thrown and the last dance is danced. While I have several friends that hold a very special place in my heart, I do not see them very often at all (living in different states), and mostly we share great memories of parts of our lives that are no more, and while we will probably forever be friends, the mere fact that neither of us sets aside time to make sure we see each other puts these wonderful women on the guest list, but not the Bridal Party list.
With my long-winded explanation of how I chose my bridesmaids out of the way, let me fill you in on my faux pas when it came to actually asking my bridesmaids: I kinda didn't.
Ugh, I know!
You see, there had been several occasions in the past where, during conversations with my someday-bridesmaids, there has been mention of "When you're my Maid of Honor...", or "When we do this for your wedding...", so that I just kind of went from newly engaged gal to bride-to-be-with-bridesmaids in the blink of an eye. In a way this is wonderful that I have these four ladies in my life that I am so sure will be there for me that I almost didn't have to ask, but on the other hand this makes me feel awful. This awful-ness is magnified when I read blog posts from less scatterbrained brides who very officially and very beautifully asked the most important women in their lives to share in one of the most important days of their lives.
For the record, Buffaloman did a much better job at this whole asking thing than I did. Oof.
In the end, none of my bridesmaids batted an eyelash when in one breath I told them I was engaged and in the next started talking about what color/fabric/style dress they would wear. I am one lucky girl to have these women stand up for me on this all important, all exciting, sometimes all consuming day, and I'm so glad to know that these beautiful, funny, strong and loving women will be the ones standing behind me as I recite some of the most important words I will ever say as we exchange vows and say "I do".
Did anyone else think this much (or this little!) about choosing their bridal party? Was yours an easy choice or a heart wrenching one? Did anyone else completely skim over the whole asking thing?!
